


Training Wheels

by taebaebts



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Drinking, Drunk Sex, Fluff, Happy Ending tho, I've never written such a long one shot so pls accept the flaws bc there are a lot, M/M, Skiing, Smut, You've been warned, a couple of years, age gap, because johnny is mature and all that jazz, but everyone's legal, i guess, insecure sicheng, johnny is whipped, no rly it is, older johnny, sicheng feels like a child around johnny, winter vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 01:47:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10064009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taebaebts/pseuds/taebaebts
Summary: "Fully undressed,No training wheels left for youI'll pull them off for you"(aka i dont know what the fuck to write so i'll just go with lyrics that have inspired this story)





	

**Author's Note:**

> hi i dont know anything about the american school system but i pretend i know in this story, sorry not sorry
> 
> also, english is not my mother tongue and my beta hadn't edited this yet so there are prob a whole lot of mistakes, sorry about that. i just really wanted to get this out because we need some more nct fanfics, especially with rare pairings!!! 
> 
> tell me what you think in the comments ^^
> 
> work inspired by melanie martinez's beautiful song training wheels!

They met for the first time in the winter break of Sicheng’s final year of high school. 

Along with his family, Sicheng had left the safety of their home in Shanghai to enjoy a nine-day vacation in South Korea. They’d use the forenoons and early afternoons on the slopes, and during the late afternoon and evenings, they’d usually explore the small town or simply enjoy each other’s company in their hotel room, playing cards or different board games they’d brought along.

It was on the fourth day that Sicheng met Johnny for the first time.

The family of four had just finished their lunch and were now ready to conquer the slopes once again, this time using a chairlift for two to get to the western side of the mountain. There were a lot of people at this point, possibly because it was Saturday and the locals were off of work and wanted to enjoy their free time on in the snow-covered mountains.

His father had suggested that he and Sicheng would take the chairlift together and his son happily agreed, seeing how he’d been sitting with his younger sister almost each time they’d used the lifts today.

His mother and younger sister took the chairlift before them and right when he was supposed to get on the next lift with his father, he was almost violently pushed aside by one of the “single riders”, as they were called, who took his spot right next to his father.

“Wait – _Baba!_ ” Sicheng cried panicky as he helplessly watched his father being pushed forward in the fully-packed narrow line. However, his father had already sat down on the chairlift for two next to a complete stranger and the last thing Sicheng saw was his father white helmet as the lift set off, leaving Sicheng back on the ground by himself.

He knew he shouldn’t feel panicked about this; it was just one fucking ride and he was an adult, goddamn it! Yet, the thought of taking the chairlift with a stranger made his heart beat involuntarily faster. Before he had any chance of dwelling over the situation further, he was gently pushed forward, making him the next in line for the lift. A stranger sat down next to him on the lift and it set off.

Gosh, it was so awkward; that was the only thing running through his mind at that point. Sure, deep down he knew he was just exaggerating but still, he’d never been alone with a stranger in a foreign country like this… well, kind of foreign country, and it made him feel insecure. After all, Sicheng had a bad habit of always wanting control of a situation or at least know what to expect from it, and he’d never experienced this before.   

“Ah, isn’t the weather nice today? We’ve certainly been lucky,” the stranger next to him chatted in Korean, causing Sicheng to snap his head towards him and really look at him; the handsomeness the man possessed almost knocked Sicheng off the lift. From what he could skim from underneath the black helmet, the man had brown, medium long hair. The v-shaped jaw was almost completely hidden underneath the grey scarf but Sicheng managed to catch a glimpse of it. His eyes were chocolate brown and so depthless that Sicheng felt like he was drowning in them, experiencing the most pleasurable death possibly. The red lips were plump, a bit cracked due to coldness and Sicheng caught himself wetting his own lips with his tongue, thinking about how it’d be like moistening the lips with his own. 

When he realised he’d been staring for too long, almost drooling for fucks sake, Sicheng tore his gaze away from the handsome man, cheeks heating up. He hadn’t expected the other man to small talking with Sicheng and he was caught completely off guard.

“U-Uh, yes, it’s very… we are very lucky,” Sicheng stuttered, the Korean language almost foreign in his mouth by now.

The man chuckled quietly at Sicheng’s nervousness yet his laughter didn’t feel degrading; it almost felt like a compliment. “I’m Johnny,” he introduced himself, still looking at Sicheng.

“Ah – yes, yes, I’m – my name is Sicheng,” he shyly introduced himself, desperately wishing he’d maintained his Korean skills a bit more. He didn’t want to present himself like an idiot in front of the handsome Korean man – _Johnny_.

“Sicheng?” the man repeated, raising his eyebrows, surprised at the foreign name. “That doesn’t sound Korean. Is it?”

“Uhm, no,” Sicheng replied, offering a nervous laugh to Johnny. “It’s Chinese… It’s because I am Chinese,” Sicheng stuttered, knowing that he spoke like a child but not being able to do anything about it, which was really regrettable and even humiliating; an 18-year-old speaking like a toddler, how much worse could it possibly get? But then again, he hadn’t been speaking proper Korean for thirteen years.

“Really? But you speak Korean so well!” Johnny praised him, sending him a smile so charming that it caught Sicheng completely off guard and Sicheng almost choked on his own salvia.

“I don’t –“ Sicheng began, re-evaluating the words in his mind before saying them aloud. “I’m not very good. I… it’s because I lived here when I was child.”

As soon as he’d said it, he cringed inwardly, knowing he fucked up grammatically.

“Wow, for real? For how long?” Johnny asked enthusiastically, not minding Sicheng’s grammatical errors which did seem to relax Sicheng just a little bit. To Sicheng, Johnny’s… enthusiasm was a bit weird and the 18-year-old couldn’t seem to figure out if Johnny was actually interested in his replies or if he was just being polite. But nonetheless, Sicheng politely answered the questions he was being asked.

“Since I got born,” _damn it, Sicheng!_ “Until five years old.”

“That’s so cool,” Johnny exclaimed, sending Sicheng a warm smile. “I guess I can understand your situation to some degree, have grown up with two different cultures and all that. My parents are Korean but I was born and raised in Chicago, going to Korea every summer until I moved here permanently for college.”

“Oh,” Sicheng mumbled, looking at Johnny with wide eyes filled with admiration. Most of his friends had only been exposed to one culture, the Chinese, and to talk with someone who had a fairly idea of how it was like was oddly comforting, even though Sicheng had left the Korean culture behind except for snippets of the language. “That’s why we are here… To see if… If I study here maybe,” Sicheng was quiet for a bit, frowning while he searched for the correct words. “If my Korean skills enough.”

“Is that so? From what I can hear, you should definitely not be worried about your Korean, you speak it perfectly!”

Sicheng blushed at Johnny’s words, well aware that the elder was only being polite and not wanting to put Sicheng in an awkward situation, but still, he felt his stomach tingle with foreign feelings he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“No, it’s…” Sicheng smiled shyly, keeping his gaze low as he looked down at the moving snow-covered ground. “It’s… yeah…”

“I’m serious,” Johnny insisted smilingly but thankfully seemed to let the topic go and silence fell over the two for a few seconds.

“So, I assume you’re here with your family then?”

“Uh – yes. With my mom, dad, and little sister,” Sicheng replied. “You? What about… your home is…right here?”   

“Nah,” Johnny smiled, ignoring Sicheng stumbling over the Korean words. “I’m on vacation here with a group of my friends from college. You know, kind of like to celebrate our finished exams.”

Sicheng grimaced slightly, suddenly feeling awfully insecure about himself, fumbling with his glove-covered hands. Johnny was in college. In _college_.

“College?” the younger frowned, biting his lips unsurely. “You are in college? How – how old are you?”

“I just turned 25,” Johnny smiled before a frown spread across his face when he saw Sicheng’s perplexed facial expression. “What about you?”

“I… I’m 18…” Sicheng mumbled quietly, fumbling with his fingers once again. “I’m, uh… I’m last year in High School.”

When he casted a sidelong glance at Johnny, the elder was smiling softly. “Ah, yes. High school. Man, I miss my high school years. They were some of the best years in my entire life, such an exciting time in my life. Make sure to treasure it!”

Sicheng didn’t understand why he was reacting the way he was; it wasn’t like he was scared of Johnny now that he found out the elder was 7 years older than him, no, that wasn’t it. But he kind of felt… insecure? Insecure about himself and he couldn’t comprehend why he was feeling that way. It wasn’t like he wanted to impress Johnny or leave an extraordinary impression of himself… right?

“Ah – yeah…” he mumbled while chuckling nervously.

“Mhm,” Johnny mumbled with a polite smile but his eyes were intense, like he was searching for something in Sicheng face that he wasn’t quite sure was even there in the first place. “Why did your family live in Korea?”

“My dad work in Seoul, uh – at big company.”

“I see,” Johnny smiled, thankfully retreating the intensity in his eyes, which now were full of contentment.

The rest of the ride passed with Johnny asking Sicheng questions about his time in Korea and he himself telling Sicheng about his own major failures he’d experienced in Korea before he’d become comfortable with the culture. It felt nice; Johnny was making Sicheng laugh (particularly when he told him about the time he and his family had visited a temple in Danyang when they’d gone sightseeing, oh god, Sicheng couldn’t keep his laughter in as he imagined 13-year-old Johnny being scolded by multiple monks, that scenario was absolutely priceless), making him feel less insecure about his lacking knowledge of Korean culture and all the times he himself had messed up.

They’d talked so much that the 7-minute ride felt like seconds and Sicheng actually felt sad knowing this was probably the end of their… their what? Non-existent friendship?

“Oh well, I guess this is it,” Johnny said once the lift reached its end station, staring passionately at Sicheng with a facial expression that the younger couldn’t quite interpret. The younger’s cheeks turned red under the intense stare and he fidgeted nervously.

“I hope we’ll see each other again,” Johnny smiled before both of them got off the lift, and Sicheng slide over to his family who was waiting for him under a big map of the area.

“Great, are we ready?” his father asked when Sicheng reached the three. Sicheng nodded and the small family took off while Sicheng tried his best to not think about the handsome man he’d just met.  

* * *

In their hotel room, Sicheng shared a room with his little sister while their parents stayed in the room next to the two siblings. When Sicheng woke up that night, his eyes were met with nothing but darkness. It took his brain a few seconds to properly wake up and realise and understand why he wasn’t in his own bed back in Shanghai. 

Turning around in the bed, Sicheng reached for his phone on the nightstand, grabbing it in the darkness. Squinting his eyes slightly at the sudden brightness from the phone, he noticed it was only 11:46 PM. Putting the phone back onto the nightstand, Sicheng rubbed his face with his palms and let out a quiet sigh. Nothing could be heard except for silence and his sister’s calm breaths and Sicheng lied down for a few minutes, waiting for his eyes to get used to the darkness.

Finally, he sat up in the bed before carefully making his way toward the bathroom. Turning on the receptacle to the bathroom, Sicheng slowly opened the bathroom door, grimacing at the way it creaked as he turned around to make sure he didn’t wake up his sister. Thankfully, she made no movements in the bed and Sicheng turned back around, only to be met with nothing but darkness from the bathroom. Frowning slightly, Sicheng clicked on the receptacle yet again although nothing happened and Sicheng was still surrounded by blackness.

“Oh come on…” Sicheng whispered despairingly before turning around and tiptoeing towards his parents’ room. The door also squeaked as he opened it and quietly walked to his mother’s side on the bed.

“Mama…” Sicheng whispered and gently shaking her shoulder. However, when he got no reaction, Sicheng raised his voice, still whispering though, and shook her shoulder a bit harsher. “Mama!”

His mother finally moved on her on, opening her eyes before focusing on her son. “What’s wrong?”

“I think the light bulb in the bathroom has burned out,” Sicheng whispered, looking down at his mother with expectation.

His mother didn’t say anything for a few seconds, still not fully awake as she tried to take in her son’s words.

“Then go down to the reception and ask for a new bulb,” his mother sighed tiredly before turning around in the bed, her back now facing Sicheng.

That’s how Sicheng made his way to the reception, walking down the stairs in the hotel’s hall, now fully clothed. However, his bladder was still painfully full, causing him to use the public toilets when he reached the ground floor. Afterwards, he continued towards the entrance of the hotel before stopping at the reception desk. No staff was behind the desk and Sicheng looked around, searching for a staff member. However, there was no people around except for in the bar, which was situated in a large room next to the reception, the double doors fully opened. The loud voices and laughs were a bit overwhelming and Sicheng tried shutting the noises out.

Minutes and minutes passed by yet no staff member turned up and Sicheng didn’t feel sleepy anymore, just extremely impatient.

“ _Sicheng?_ ” a voice called and Sicheng turned around, eyes wide open and shock written across his face. There, standing by the door, was none other than Johnny, _the_ Johnny that Sicheng had met on the chairlift this very day. Behind the elder, three young men, probably Johnny’s friends or _acquaintances_ at least, stumbled towards the toilets that Sicheng had used not too long ago. Their unstable walks made Sicheng a bit worried and the men looked shit drunk.

Sicheng’s gaze landed on Johnny when the man was walking towards him before standing tall right in front of him, lips curled into a huge smile and eyes sparkling with something that looked like curiosity and something else, something that caused shivers to run down Sicheng’s spine and his heart to beat faster. The elder had definitely been drinking and Sicheng’s gaze landed on this beer bottle in his left hand and the lit cigarette between the index finger and the middle finger on his right hand.

“I can’t believe it’s you!” Johnny grinned and Sicheng forced himself to look away from that beautiful, breath-taking face – _what_? “I thought I was never going to see you again!”

He couldn’t help it, Sicheng couldn’t help the way the blood in his body rushed to his cheeks or the way sweat emerged from his palms and even forehead. He could physically feel Johnny’s strong gaze on him and it made his skin prickle teasingly under the elder’s stare. The younger man didn’t know how to respond so he just offered Johnny a small smile before tapping his fingers onto the receptionist desk.

It was extremely unfair, the power this beautiful, gorgeous, charming, perfect – _stranger_ , _Sicheng_ , _stranger! –_ had over him. Especially since Johnny seemed to always be so calm and collected, his gaze completely controlled, even when drunk, and Sicheng forced himself to ignore the sudden sting in his chest. It made him feel like a fool, a naïve, desperate boy, who just fell in love with every good-looking guy he came in touch with.

It’d be a lie to say that Sicheng hadn’t been thinking about Johnny all fucking day and it annoyed him, making him unable to focus on anything other than the image of the elder (it actually caused him to crash that afternoon because he’d been too engaged by the thought of Johnny kissing his lips, his cheeks, his neck, his- yeah, Sicheng hadn’t noticed the tree, okay? Thankfully, the slope was very children-friendly and not very steep, so he hadn’t been racing very fast and didn’t get hurt. But still, the experience and just knowing the reason to his crash was extremely embarrassing). 

“Are you really staying at this hotel? Who would’ve known?” Johnny grinned, putting out the cigarette in the ashtray on the desk, and Sicheng wondered for a moment if Johnny knew that the younger hated the smell of cigarettes (even though, he wasn’t going to lie, the sight of Johnny smoking a cigarette was so fucking hot).

“Yeah…” Sicheng replied, sending Johnny a small grin, before quickly removing his gaze from the man once again as if he was scared of Johnny discovering Sicheng’s sinful thoughts regarding him.

“Mhm,” Johnny mumbled, still smiling and Sicheng could feel Johnny’s stare on his face as his right cheek was burning hot under his gaze. “What are you doing here? Waiting for someone?”

“Uh,” Sicheng straightened his back before pushing his insecurities aside and looking at Johnny, _like a man would do_. “No, I’m-“

“Great!” Johnny interrupted, suddenly bending forwards and sliding an arm around Sicheng’s shoulders before pulling him closer against him, making Sicheng freeze at the sudden physical contact that was certainly meant in a friendly manner even it if didn’t feel like it.

Johnny was extremely gentlemanly and polite, there was nothing more to it.

“Why don’t you join me in the bar? The beers are fucking good and I believe Hansol and Yuta are about to start yet another game of poker.”

It took Sicheng a few moments with his eyes blinking in confusion to realise that Johnny was giving him an invitation. And it didn’t sit well with him; he didn’t want to interrupt the group, the group where all of them were most certainly older than him, and he was sure he’d feel like an outsider. Just the thought alone made him cringe and he had to decline the invitation. He _wanted_ to decline. 

“Ah, that’s really sweet of you but I can’t. My parents are wait for me a-and I only came down to get new light bulb b-because, uh, our bathroom… the one, eh, i-is broken and-,” Sicheng babbled nervously until he was caught off by Johnny’s sincere laughter, and _wow, the way Johnny threw his head back and his brown soft-looking hair was sticking to his porcelain-like skin was truly enchanting and Sicheng swore he’d never seen anything more beautiful-_

“Come on, it’s only one beer,” the elder urged, the smile suddenly turning into a smirk, which both frightened and excited the younger. Perhaps Sicheng’s mind was playing tricks with him but the look the elder sent him made Sicheng feel like he was a prey that Johnny had finally chased into a corner where he couldn’t escape.

Which, funny enough, was exactly how Sicheng felt that moment.

“Besides,” Johnny continued. “I can’t see any staff member here, can you? So odds are you’re gonna wait a long time if you want a new one. That’s if they can even provide such things this late in the evening.”

 _That_ made Sicheng stay quiet for a moment because, yeah, Johnny had a point there; he’d already waited for 15 minutes or so (probably less but it felt like an eternity), so why should a staff member suddenly turn up within the next few minutes? But then again, Sicheng had already used the bathrooms on the ground floor, so the light bulb wasn’t really that urgent anymore – at least not for him, so he should just go back to his room and go to sleep.

Apparently, Sicheng’s mouth had other plans.

“But you’re with friends… I-I don’t want – interrupt you,” Sicheng gnawed on his lower lip and supressed the urge to repeatedly slam his head on the desk at the way he sounded so utterly pathetic, like he was playing hard to get or something. After all, why would Johnny waste any time winning over a guy like him when he could probably have anyone he wanted? And who even said Johnny is gay? It’s not like-

_Stop – do not go there, Sicheng!_

“Don’t worry about them – they’re super nice, I promise. And I’d much rather sit with you than them,” Johnny said and Sicheng couldn’t help but to blush when Johnny gently squeezed his shoulder as if he was trying to reassure Sicheng of the safety of the situation. Thankfully Johnny didn’t initiate more skinship and Sicheng was secretly relieved – he had no idea what could’ve happened if Johnny overstepped _that_ border. However, it didn’t help against the picture of Johnny that Sicheng was painting in his mind; beautiful, calm, sweet, funny, and extremely gentlemanly, there was nothing Johnny couldn’t do in his mind. And it was doing weird stuff to Sicheng’s heart.

“B-But I don’t have money on me. I-I didn’t bring my wallet to Korea, only passport so I can’t pay for-“ Sicheng began before Johnny once again interrupted him with his rationality.

It was almost becoming a habit by now, Johnny interrupting Sicheng’s nervous babblings but it didn’t bother Sicheng at all; it stopped him from making an even bigger fool out of himself and it actually felt kind of… nice, somehow. Like he was caring for him somehow. Back when they were on the chairlift, Johnny had seemed extremely curious to what Sicheng had to say, always asking him more and more questions, letting him reply as good as possible. But now, where Sicheng was only digging his own grave of embarrassment deeper, Johnny came to his rescue, causing him to let go of every insecurity, every doubt Sicheng might have about the situation. And he didn’t know whether or not that was a good thing but he embraced it nonetheless.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll pay for your drinks,” Johnny reassured him, sending him a dazzling smile that only made his heart bloom with – with what exactly? – it also caused his abdomen to stir, which, nope. Nu-uh, he was _not_ going there.

“No!” Sicheng yelled, almost tearing himself out of the older man’s embrace as he looked Johnny directly in his eyes. “No, I-I can’t accept, it’s – that’s too much, I really, really appreciate offer, I do, but that’s just – no…”

Once again, Johnny laughed loudly which only made Sicheng shrink with humiliation as he was beginning to feel like a child; it really made Sicheng realise just how different the two were in age – Johnny was in the middle of taking his PhD in college, and Sicheng was in his last year of High School. And sure, Johnny did mention that his friends were in different year groups and classes, but none of them were high school students, that’s for sure. He might be friends with first-year students but that’s still a big difference – they didn’t live with their parents.

Johnny was an _adult_ , mature and independent with his 25 years, and Sicheng was a _child_ , immature and still living with his parents and attending high school, being only 18 years old. What could Johnny possibly see in him? _Did_ he even see anything in him? Their differences were obvious; Johnny was here with his friends from college and Sicheng was here with his parents and younger sister. It wasn’t like Sicheng didn’t want to be here, he was extremely thankful to his parents, that they were still paying for him. But it clearly showed that the two men were in two different stages of their life and it made Sicheng feel sad.

Sicheng had only been drinking alcohol a couple of times in his life, still a bit insecure and definitely inexperienced in that area while Johnny was extremely experienced, able to pour down shots after shots.

The thing was, Sicheng was _lacking_. He would never be able to get on Johnny’s level. He was a child next to Johnny and would _always_ be so.

“Please Sicheng, I insist,” Johnny assured him, still offering a small smile but his eyes were a bit more serious and even anxious this time around. “It’s no big deal, really – I have enough money. Please let me treat you this once. Please.”

It sounded weird, all of these pleadings coming out from Johnny’s mouth when Sicheng felt like he was the one who should be begging Johnny for bringing him along and allowing him to hang out with him, just like small children would do with their elder cousins, who were heroes in their eyes.

“Uhm,” Sicheng bit his lower lip and considered the consequences of accepting the invitation; if he stayed for just one beer, nothing would happen, right? His parents probably wouldn’t even notice his short absence… and Johnny insisted that he _wanted_ to pay for Sicheng’s beer. So what could possibly go wrong? “I guess I could stay for one beer…”

Johnny’s face lit up in an earnest grin and the short-lived anxiety from before was now completely vanished from his face. “Great!” 

Johnny snuck an arm around Sicheng and he felt Johnny’s big palm gently touch his back as the older man lead him into the bar. The hand on his back was strangely comforting, which was much needed for Sicheng when they stepped into the bar and were immediately met with a thin cloud of smoke from cigarettes and a reeking smell of alcohol, especially the smell of beer was dominant.

The bar was surprisingly big; in the left side of the room was the bar, almost completely hidden behind bodies that was sitting on the bar stools, chatting with the person next to them while pouring down their drinks. Placed against the remaining walls of the bar were different tables, they almost looked like diner tables, most of them being occupied with different groups of young people especially. There was a small dance floor in the middle of the room, which wasn’t really being used by anybody expects for two girls that were looking like they were having the times of their lives, screaming and laughing along with the loud music playing.

Next to the “dancefloor” was a billiard table with quite a lot of bystanders surrounding it, leading Sicheng to believe a major match was going down or something. To the right there was a bigger table with perhaps 20 people around it; some actually sitting on the chairs, some in their friends’ laps, and some was simply standing while watching the game of poker that was just starting.

“This way,” Johnny whispered into his ears, causing Sicheng to jump slightly at the sensation of Johnny’s breath hitting his sensitive ears – he didn’t expect Johnny to be _this_ close to him but in the older man’s defence, the rock music was playing very loudly and the buzzing was extremely noisy as well. Johnny lead him towards one of the tables most far away from the entrance and Sicheng felt his heart move upwards in his throat as Johnny seated them at a table with three other males.

This was exactly what Sicheng _didn’t_ want to happen.

“Johnny!” one of the men yelled while smiling widely as they sat down. When the men moved their gazes from Johnny towards Sicheng, curiosity noticeable in their eyes, Sicheng wanted nothing more than just to disappear into the bench. He hated the unwanted attention.  

“Sicheng, it’s so nice to meet you!” The black-haired guy said with so much enthusiasm that Sicheng wondered if he was being sarcastic. The man took Sicheng’s hand and shook it eagerly while sending him a warm smile. “My name is Ten! You can call me _hyung_ if you want to, you know what that means, right? Johnny said you’re familiar with Korean culture, yes? I’m not Korean either so you can always come to hyung if you have any questions or anything like that, yeah? I’ll- _ow!_ ” Ten let go of Sicheng’s hand to rub his bicep that had just been slapped by one of the other males, the one with the… was that dreads?

“Why did you do that?” Ten pouted, and if Sicheng knew the men sitting in front of him, he’d probably have laughed at the two snapping at each other. “I was just introducing myself to Sicheng, don’t be fucking rude, Taeyong!”

“Uh,” Sicheng started before clearing his throat, trying to ignore the four pair of eyes looking straight at him. “How do you know my name?”

Before any of the boys could stop him, Ten leaned forward with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a smirk on his lips that made Sicheng’s heart beat even faster for some reason. “Johnny has told us about you – the Chinese boy that was so adorable, cute, and pretty that he just wanted to-“

“Enough!” _Taeyong_ said before grapping Ten’s sleeve and pulling him out of the seat. “That’s it, I’m bringing you to Hansol. You have no fucking filter; I swear to god…” Taeyong mumbled the last part, and if Sicheng hadn’t been so absorbed in the two men that was now walking towards the table with the poker game, he might have noticed the thankful look that Johnny sent Taeyong.

 _Johnny had told his friends about him? And he thought Sicheng was cute?_ Sicheng felt his cheeks heat up and he almost couldn’t help but smile and the thought of Johnny maybe liking him too?

“I’m Jaehyun,” the last guy began, causing Sicheng to snap his head towards him. Jaehyun was sitting diagonally opposite him on the other side of the table. He was actually very good looking with his brown-curly hair and straight nose and jawline – if Sicheng hadn’t been so absorbed in Johnny, he’d definitely have been whipped; Jaehyun was really handsome. “Don’t mind Ten, he’s always like that and it definitely doesn’t help at all that he’s been drinking. A lot. His boyfriend, Hansol, usually succeeds at calming him down a bit… it’s just unfortunate that Ten wasn’t feeling like playing poker, don’t you think?”

Next to him, Johnny burst out laughing along with Jaehyun and Sicheng help but chuckle too, even though he had no idea why they were laughing as he was still tense from his nerves.

Jaehyun stayed with the them and Sicheng appreciated Jaehyun’s presence as it made him feel less nervous than if it had just been him and Johnny alone at the table; Johnny just makes him feel so… _weird_. On one hand, he’d prefer if it was just Johnny and him, without the presence of his friends that made Sicheng feel even more anxious. On the other hand, it also gave him an odd feeling of safety with so many people around, Johnny’s friends or not.

Ten had a boyfriend? And Johnny, Taeyong, and Jaehyun apparently knew this boyfriend too so Sicheng assumed he was a part of their group of friends. Perhaps he was stupid and plain naïve but Sicheng couldn’t help the hope that grew inside of him when he heard Johnny had gay friends – that way he couldn’t be homophobic at least, right?

Sicheng certainly hoped so, which was stupid, because _it didn’t mean anything for the tension between Johnny and Sicheng_.

Not too long after, Taeyong returned to the table without Ten and sat down next to Jaehyun, bringing four beers along with him. Sicheng thanked him quietly, slowly sipping the liquid from the bottle.

Soon the conversations set off, Jaehyun and Taeyong chatting happily and Sicheng and Johnny talking quietly together. Johnny was asking him about his life back in China, how his everyday life was, who his friends were, how school was going.

A waitress would regularly pass their table and fill up their needs of alcohol by providing different variations of beers, tequila shots (which Sicheng couldn’t take in one big swig, he had to sip twice to get all of it and he hated the way Johnny would laugh loudly and claim “how cute he was” while he himself would pour them down as if it was water in one go), and glasses of whisky.

“So, what is the plan for next year?” Johnny asked later on that night, both of them fairly drunk at that point and Sicheng had no idea how long he’d been sitting here next to Johnny. The thought actually didn’t cross his mind at all; all he could think about was the buzzing sensations in his body, the way the alcohol in his blood was making him feel dizzy yet more alive that he’d ever felt before (although that was probably a mixture of the alcohol in his blood and Johnny’s warm body pressed against his own, _which totally didn’t mean anything, Johnny was just being polite again_ , even though Sicheng’s willpower to not jump onto Johnny was crumbling more and more as the night passed by).

“Uh, I’m not sure…” Sicheng replied, sending Johnny a warm smile, which the older man joyfully returned. 

Taeyong and Jaehyun had left the table some time ago, which could be minutes or hours, Sicheng wasn’t sure, and since then Sicheng had felt relaxed around the older man, allowing himself to let down his guards; after all, Johnny had given him no reason not to. He’d been extremely gentlemanly, not trying anything with Sicheng, and even though his mind could be playing tricks with him in his drunken state, Sicheng really felt like Johnny was genuinely interested in him and what he had to say.

It made every cell in Sicheng’s body tremble with… with what exactly? Happiness? Delight? _Excitement?_

“I mean,” Sicheng continued, feeling bolder now than when he’d first entered the bar. “The reason why we – well, my family and I… uh, yeah, the reason why we went to Korea here in vacation, uh, was to see if my Korean skills is good enough to stay college here. It’s… well, Mama says it’s good to be fluent in many languages and it gives advantage later on when I have to find a job.”

Johnny was humming quietly with a small smile spread across his face, encouraging Sicheng to continue while he was gently playing with a tuft of Sicheng’s hair.

“I mean, I did spend first six years of my life in Seoul, so Korea will always have special place in my heart, you know?”

“So if you decide to apply for college in Korea would it be in Seoul, Busan, or somewhere else?” Johnny asked, his voice almost sounding a bit restraint as if he was trying to conceal something but Sicheng brushed it off with a smile, happy to hear that Johnny was actually interested in him.

“It would probably be in Seoul but it’s…” Sicheng held his breath for a second, wondering if he was about to cross an invisible line between the two of them if he was to express his thoughts and concerns; why would it matter to Johnny after all? He’d already received his Master’s and was in the middle of taking his PhD, so if Sicheng was to explain his insecurities with fucking enrolling college, getting a Bachelor Degree, wouldn’t he sound extremely immature and childish?

Johnny noticed Sicheng’s hesitation and moved his hand from the younger man’s hair down to his shoulder before gently squeezing it reassuringly. “It’s okay, you can say whatever you want.”

“Ah, it’s… Yeah,” Sicheng mumbled, a bit overwhelmed by the ability the other man possessed to make him feel this calm and this good about himself. It was a nice feeling, a very nice feeling. “It’s just bit scary, yes? I… I’ve have living in Shanghai since I was five, and it’s just – distance is very away from my friends and my family and my home. Plus, I don’t even know if I can get a degree.”

Johnny reached his arm around Sicheng’s shoulder and pulled the younger man closer and Sicheng let him be embraced as he let his head rest against Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny let his lips brush against Sicheng’s soft hair and Sicheng’s breath was caught in his throat for a second – maybe Johnny was drunker than Sicheng had assumed.

“Don’t worry about it,” Johnny mumbled into his hair while stroking his cheek almost _lovingly_. “You’ll do great in college no matter where you decide to go. I’m absolutely certain you’ll do the right thing no matter what. And don’t think I’m trying to convince you to study in Korea because I’m not, but I’m sure you’ll find new friends no matter where you choose to go.”

Sicheng didn’t say anything, just allowed himself to be comforted by the elder’s words and gentle touches. Perhaps he was exaggerating, being drunker than he originally assumed, but he felt like he’d been able to break down the last wall between the two when he’d poured his heart out to the other man and he felt stupid for wanting to hang onto Johnny and never let go.

He shouldn’t have taken those tequila-shot, damn it.

They sat in each other’s embraces for a few minutes, none of them saying anything, just enjoying each other’s sweet and comforting touches. That was until Johnny began to pull away slightly and Sicheng let him pull away as he sat back up straight and turned his head towards Johnny to apologise for his bold and childish actions. Before he had the chance to even open his mouth to apologise, Johnny’s lips were suddenly touching his own and Sicheng couldn’t stop the gasp of surprise that left his mouth.

Johnny’s lips were wet from all the alcohol he’d been drinking but so was Sicheng’s undoubtedly. The elder’s lips were plump and soft as they massaged his own, making Sicheng feel even more drunk. A sudden feeling of need and want shot through Sicheng’s body and without thinking twice, his arms shot forward and locked around Johnny’s neck, pulling the man closer while Sicheng harshly pressed their mouths even closer, causing their teeth to clash messily. Before Sicheng could pull back and die from embarrassment from his inexperienced actions, Johnny let out a deep moan and folded his arms around Sicheng’s waist, lifting him up and placing the boy on his lap. Sicheng could help the small moan that passed through his lips when he felt Johnny’s hot, wet tongue poking against his lips, asking for permission to enter and Sicheng opened his mouth willingly, allowing their tongues to clash with each other in a dangerous dance for dominance.

It truly felt like heaven; Johnny’s tongue exploring his mouth while his own tongue was doing the same with Johnny’s, it sent waves of pleasure and warmth through Sicheng’s body and he didn’t realise he was shaking until Johnny grabbed his hands, interlocking them with his own. This wasn’t Sicheng’s first kiss but it was definitely Sicheng’s first drunken kiss with tongue and while it was probably noticeable, Johnny made no indications to that whatsoever.

This caused Sicheng to grow bolder in his movements as he tightened his grip around Johnny’s neck and let his fingers run through the man’s brown locks before harshly fisting two tuft, turning the kiss rougher and dirtier. He didn’t even think about how Johnny would react to his hair being tugged roughly, but the way he let out a deep grunt that sounded more like a growl, it was obviously that Johnny was more than okay with Sicheng’s rough treatment of him.

Johnny’s hands began to wander down the younger’s back until they reached Sicheng’s jeans-covered arse, gripping each cheek tightly, groaning at the way the plump bottom felt like underneath his hands.

“Johnny,” Sicheng moaned dizzily, parting their lips and stared at the elder with a glimpse of lust in his eyes. “Let’s…”

Sicheng didn’t finish his sentence as he got distracted by the sudden exposure of Johnny’s naked collarbone and he couldn’t help but shoot forward and plant his lips on the skin, kissing, sucking, and biting the spot as if it was nutrition. 

Johnny moaned loudly at the sensation of Sicheng’s lips and teeth on his body. When he spoke up, his breath was unstable as if he was having a hard time breathing properly. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Sicheng didn’t know how but they were suddenly walking through the door that let them to Johnny’s hotel room; what had happened the last five minutes had been a complete blur but then again, so was Sicheng’s brain at this point, intoxicated with both alcohol and lust.

Quickly scanning the hotel room, Sicheng couldn’t help but notice that there were two suitcases sprawled on the floor further into the room and his lustful mind was suddenly halted by worry. “Uh, are you sure it’s okay for me to be here? What about your…”

Your what? Friend? Boyfriend?

_Oh god, please no-_

“My roommate?” Johnny offered, sitting down on the double bed while sending Sicheng a smirk that _really shouldn’t have the effect on his crotch that it had_. “Don’t worry, sweetie. It’s just Hansol and I can assure you he won’t be sleeping here tonight.”

That calmed him down tremendously with Sicheng recalling the Hansol dude being Ten’s alleged boyfriend. The younger was walking slowly towards Johnny until he was standing right between his legs, looking down at Johnny’s beautiful face while the other’s arms snuck around his waist.

“You know we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” Johnny mumbled while planting small, innocent kisses on Sicheng’s exposed neck. “Just having you in my arms for the night is more than enough to satisfy me.”

Sicheng _was_ worried, the nerves suddenly kicking in when he realised that this was actually going to happen; while he had kissed quite a few people before, serious or not, he’d never taken the next step and actually slept with anyone. But he wanted to; god, he wanted to so bad. His mind was cloudy, sure, but there was no way he couldn’t read the signals his own body was sending him. His member was painfully hard in his pants and he could feel the way the tip of his cock had wetted a part of the fabric of his underwear.

And right there, in Johnny’s arms, he decided that if he was going to sleep with anyone, it would have to be Johnny.

“I want to,” Sicheng whispered and Johnny pulled back slightly to lock his eyes with Sicheng’s. The younger man knew that Johnny was searching for any signs of doubt in Sicheng’s eyes but when Johnny reached over to the nightstand and turned off the lamp, which left the room pitch-black until their eyes would get used to the darkness, Sicheng knew Johnny hadn’t found any.

Johnny gently pushed Sicheng down onto the bed with him, pulling the younger on top of himself. The elder tried to control himself and his instincts when his mouth searched for Sicheng’s in the dark, his movements eager and quick, but that wasn’t the way he wanted this to go; he wanted to take things slow, to make Sicheng feel nothing but pleasure, to make Sicheng feel the affection through his movements; he wanted to make sure that he’d never forget this night.

When Johnny’s lips found Sicheng’s, his tongue gently began exploring the younger’s mouth, touching every part of his mouth possible while Sicheng was clumsily doing the same thing with him. While their tongues were caressing each other, Johnny sneaked his hands sneaked underneath Sicheng’s shirt, fingertips carefully exploring the soft, smooth, and warm skin. Although Johnny felt blessed to being able to just be with Sicheng for the night, having him lie next to him, his hunger had been awoken and innocent touches weren’t enough to satisfy his hunger at that point.

His hands grabbed the younger’s shirt before carefully moving it over his head, pausing their kisses for a second, before their lips found each other once again. This went on for a few minutes, the two kissing softly while breaking apart now and then to slowly remove a piece of clothing until both of them were completely naked from head to toe. 

“Wait here for a second,” Johnny whispered onto Sicheng’s lips from where he was lying next the younger before he got off the bed and walked to his suitcase, searching for something. Whatever it was, he found it quickly as lied down next to Sicheng again only seconds after, planting a sweet kiss on the younger’s lips. 

“What is it?” Sicheng frowned, being able to skim something in the elder’s hand

“It’s lube,” Johnny replied, opening the bottle and pouring _something_ on his fingers.

“Lube?” Sicheng frowned slightly, not familiar with the term in Korea. But when Johnny sat down between his legs, Sicheng automatically spread his legs, pulling them up to his chest, which would give Johnny better access.

“Yeah, it’s going to make everything run smoother and make it hurt less,” Johnny explained, bring his lube-covered fingers to Sicheng’s hole, massaging it gently to prepare the younger’s arse for what was to come. When the cold liquid from Johnny’s fingers came into contact with Sicheng’s sensitive hole, he let out a surprised gasp at the unfamiliar sensation. 

After rubbing the younger’s hole for a few seconds, Johnny carefully slid his middle finger through the circle of muscles, gently forcing them apart to make space for Johnny’s finger. It didn’t hurt at all, it was just a weird sensation, so it didn’t take long before Johnny added his index finger, carefully moving the two fingers inside of Sicheng. Sicheng could feel a slight sting this time, moaning quietly in discomfort, but as Johnny continued to carefully move the fingers inside him, scissoring them and stretching him out, the pain faded away slowly but surely.

The pain was almost unbearable when Johnny added the third finger and the younger whined slightly, fisting the bedsheets tightly as if that’d somehow ease some of his pain. When he saw the younger man wrench in pain, Johnny felt a pang of guilt in his chest and the elder leaned forward, kissing him gently while repeatedly whispering that he was sorry and the pain would soon disappear, and Sicheng accepted the comfort with open arms.

The pain eventually disappeared and Johnny removed his fingers from Sicheng’s arse when Sicheng insisted that it was fine and that he was ready. The elder bought his hand them to his own cock, giving it a few tugs before lining up his member near the younger’s entrance. 

“Fuck,” Sicheng breathed almost silently as Johnny slowly entered him, stretching his walls completely with his thick member.

Sicheng had never felt more alive than what he did at that moment; he could literally feel every cell in his body buzz with both excitement and calmness, and despite the slight discomfort due to Johnny’s penetration, the pleasure outdid any feeling of pain and reservation he had.

“J-Johnny,” he mewled and tightened his grip around the older man’s waist, pulling him even closer on top of him. The big, flexed muscles underneath Johnny’s soft skin caressed the younger’s body perfectly, leaving him a moaning mess underneath the strong body.  

“Shit,” the elder mumbled, voice a bit strained and his forehead was crinkled into a frown. Before Sicheng had a chance of worrying about the other’s possible discomfort, Johnny lowered his head and captured Sicheng’s lips in a sweet kiss once again.

Perhaps it was only a delusion from his part, his mind imagining things that he deep down wished were the truth, but in that moment, Sicheng swore he could feel Johnny’s love and adoration flowing through the kiss, down his throat to his heart.

Their tongues were teasingly fighting each other in a sinful yet playful game for dominance until Johnny carefully began moving his hips, causing Sicheng to separate their mouths as he let out a needy moan at the feeling of Johnny’s cock moving inside of him. 

“Is this okay?” Johnny whispered shakenly, looking down at Sicheng, a look in his eyes that was so loving that it made Sicheng feel like he was the only person in the world, the only person Johnny had ever and would ever love.

Screw the consequences.

“Yeah,” Sicheng replied in a mere whisper, not being able to hold back a smile. “Yeah, this is… this is really good.”

With that, Johnny began moving his hips carefully yet steadily, finding a slow and gentle pace that wouldn’t turn Sicheng’s current pleasure into pain. That drunken look on Sicheng’s face, like he was getting drunk of Johnny’s lovemaking, was enough for Johnny’s cock to become even harder, if that was even possible, and that blooming feeling in his heart that he’d been feeling constantly ever since he’d first talked with the boy, was only becoming more and more dominating and impossible for him to ignore.

It was like he was in middle school all over, falling in love for the first time again, not being able to focus on school, his friends, _anything_ but his first love. The only thing that was filling up his mind was Sicheng, Sicheng, _Sicheng,_ and he wouldn’t want it any different.

The way the younger’s insides were so beautifully clinging onto his cock, sucking him further inside the hole, was enough for him to see stars. This had got to be heaven, there was nothing that could possibly top this feeling.

Sure, Johnny had had plenty of lovers previously, even multiple one-night stands, but it all seems so meaningless now that he was here with Sicheng underneath him, the younger spreading his legs so sweetly for him, giving Johnny permission to take what he wanted from the younger; he felt extremely _grateful_ , so grateful for the fact that Sicheng allowed him to probably take his virginity (not that Sicheng had told Johnny directly that he was a virgin, but the elder could put two and two together), would want to spend the night with an old man like him.

Johnny wouldn’t allow himself to have high hopes of what would come next between the two, what would happen between them; just because he was a selfish fucker that wanted nothing more than to hug Sicheng tightly and never let him go again, he wouldn’t try to influence the younger into staying with him.

When Sicheng had explained his thoughts about enrolling college in Seoul, Johnny had wanted to scream at him to do it, to leave China, leave everything behind him, just so Johnny could be closer to him; it was evidence enough of his selfishness. Just the fact that he wanted to toss away Sicheng’s worries about his college situation just to have him in Korea was truly disgusting and Johnny was so ashamed yet he couldn’t control his deepest yearnings. But even though he wasn’t able to control these inner wishes, he would _never_ manipulate Sicheng into doing anything.

He’d never be able to forgive himself.

The sudden thoughts of his own sinful desires and Sicheng’s possible departure to China for good made him feel like he’d swallow an enormous stone that was now situated in his stomach. Tightening his grip around Sicheng’s waist, Johnny hid his face in Sicheng’s soft black hair and suddenly, he felt like crying.

God, he always turned out stupid when he’d been drinking. 

“Is everything okay?” Sicheng whispered, worry shooting through him when he noticed that Johnny hid his face in his hair and that his breath was extremely irregular, as if he’d difficulties breathing. He brought his hand to Johnny’s neck, gently moving his head away from his hair so that he could look the older guy in the eyes. From what he could make out in the darkness, the other’s eyes were glossy yet shining with both a hint of sadness and happiness, leaving Sicheng worried for a short second.

“Yeah,” Johnny sent him a quiet, forced grin before bringing his face down to Sicheng’s, pressing his lips against the younger’s once again, before moving on to his cheek, forehead, jaw, then throat, kissing every visible part of Sicheng’s body. While he was tasting the younger’s body with his mouth, his hips moved in a slow yet toe-curling pace and the elder made sure to cherish every moment he had with Sicheng until he’d eventually have to let the boy go, even though it’d kill a piece of him.

They made love like that for hours, Sicheng moaning in pure pleasure and Johnny kissing him all over while desperately praying that Sicheng wouldn’t regret, wouldn’t _forget_ this night in the morning.

* * *

 When Sicheng opened his eyes the next morning, he was met with a banging headache and he couldn’t help but groan and shut his eyes closed again. His world was spinning around, making it hard for him to focus on anything but the horrifying headache and nausea. But it didn’t take long for hazy snippets from last night to run through his mind and his eyes shot open once he remembered where Johnny and he ended up last night.

Right there in front of him were none other than Johnny, eyes closed and his _naked_ chest rising and falling in a slow, steady pace repeatedly. Sicheng was absolutely mortified when he grabbed his duvet and lifted it up with hasty movements, only to be confirmed with his biggest fear; between his naked thighs lied his soft member, full on display and in that moment, he _knew_ it’d been “used” last night.

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” Sicheng whispered panicky and suddenly, he felt the urge to cry – this was not what he’d wanted, not at all.

Well – he’d wanted to sleep with Johnny, sure, and he could only assume it’d been good (although he honestly couldn’t remember much, to be honest) because, well, Johnny looked like a fucking sex god so it’d only be fair to assume so.

But he’d never wanted this to be a one-night stand. He didn’t want to be “just another one” on Johnny’s list, he wanted to wake up with Johnny every morning, to just lie in the other’s arms while the morning peacefully passed by. It’s-

Sicheng shot off the bed quietly, picking up his clothes from the floor while his head was hanging low in shame. Clumsily, he put on his socks, then underwear, until he’d got each piece of clothing on. Then, with one last glance at Johnny on the bed, he unlocked the door to the hotel room, slowly opening it before quickly slipping out and quietly closing it with extreme care.

Somehow, he was able to find the way to the lobby in this unfamiliar part of the hotel. The lobby was filled with people this time, mostly families with young children, walking to- and out of the breakfast room. The enormous clock, which was hanging on the wall above the reception, showed that it 9 o’clock and Sicheng cringed silently, knowing his parents would undoubtedly be awake and up by now.

And sure enough, when he looked at the desk in front reception, right where he stood last night, he saw his family speaking to one of staff members, his mother in a state of panic as she waved franticly with her hands, yelling at the poor young girl behind the desk. It looked as if his mother was on the edge of having a panic attack.

Biding the insides of his cheek, Sicheng took a few seconds to prepare himself for what was to come, before walking over to his family.

“Mama,” Sicheng said quietly and strangely enough, Chinese almost sounded foreign in his mouth, after hours and hours of speaking Korean with Johnny last night. His mother, father, and sister whirled around, looking at him with accusing yet relieved eyes and Sicheng winced under their heavy gazes.

“Sicheng!” his mother shrieked, forgetting the staff member as she shot forwards and pulled Sicheng into an awfully tight embrace, making it hard for Sicheng to breathe properly. “Sicheng! Oh my god, you’re here! We’ve been so worried, you have no idea!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Sicheng saw his father quickly apologising to the young woman and Sicheng could only imagine what his mother could’ve possibly said to her before he showed up. But then again, he couldn’t blame her at all since he was the only one to blame for putting them in such a situation.

After 30 solid seconds with his mother putting his lungs to a test with her tight embrace and his younger sister clinging to his leg like she was a monkey or something, his mother finally pulled back and his sister followed suit.

“Baby, where have you been?! What happened?! Are you okay-” she said, placing her hands on each of his cheeks, squeezing them so tightly that his lips were forced apart and he was almost making a duck-face.

“Mama, I’m fine,” Sicheng interrupted, trying to coil himself out of her firm grasp on his cheeks but decided to give it up when she made no signs of intending to let go of him whatsoever.

“Where have you been?! Sicheng – you gave us a heart attack! Did you know how worried we were when Meifen came into our room this morning, saying you weren’t in your room? We tried calling you but your phone was on your nightstand! Your Baba said you might’ve went to get breakfast already but you were nowhere to be seen when we got down here!” his mother continued, her words causing Sicheng to lower his head in shame, embarrassed that he’d made his family so worried about him because of his immature actions. “Baby, where have you been?”

“I – Mama, last night… I,” Sicheng stopped, biting his lips nervously. He didn’t want to lie to his parents but he also didn’t know how his parents would react to the truth. “I went down here to get that light bulb, do you remember that?”

His mother nodded, finally letting go of his cheeks as Sicheng began explaining his absence.

“Yeah, I went down here and waited for a staff member to turn up but there was nobody here. I don’t know if they were eating – uh, dinner? – but there were no one here. Then, uh, there were a lot of university students in the bar over there,” Sicheng pointed at the now empty bar next to the entrance of the hotel, his family looking over at the room.

“A-And then we talked for a bit – they were really sweet, it was nothing, like, bad or serious!” He hurriedly explained when he saw his mother frightened look, assuming the worst. “We just talked, and when the staff didn’t show up, they asked me to join them for a beer a-and I accepted... They were really sweet, Mama, they even gave me tips on college in Korea! Some of them weren’t ethnic Koreans either and they told me how it was to study in Korea for them… It was really useful and they were really nice to me, Mama. I’m sorry for just going like that and leaving you worried. I just wanted to have fun with people around my age.”

Thankfully, his mother’s eyes softened when Sicheng finished his explanation (where he made sure to leave out every part that contained Johnny – he didn’t exactly lie, right? He just left out a little (major) part of the story) and she breathed a sigh of relief before smiling. “Oh baby, you should’ve just told me! It’s completely fine that you’re having fun with people around your age and getting a beer or two. Just tell us next time, okay?”

_Next time._

_Yeah, right._

Sicheng’s heart began pumping hastily as thoughts of spending one more night with Johnny ran through his brain without his permission. “Of course, I promise, Mama. I just didn’t want to wake you up.”

His father came over to him, putting his arm around Sicheng’s shoulders and pressing him closer while sending him a warm smile. “It’s fine, Sicheng, don’t worry about it, everything turned out fine, right? Now, let’s get some breakfast.”

* * *

 For the next couple of days, Sicheng was doing everything in his power to avoid Johnny and any of the elder’s friends at any cost, lowkey freaking out each time some of Johnny’s friends (Sicheng couldn’t always remember their faces but he assumed he’d seen them in the bar that night) would wave at him whenever they happened to see each other on the slopes. Every single time, Sicheng would hurry away without returning their greetings, afraid that Johnny would suddenly appear.

Thankfully, it seemed like Johnny and his friends had different routines than Sicheng and his family; His family definitely had the schedule of an usual family with children, seeing they’d get up early in the morning and being on the slopes when they opened 9:30 AM. In a contrast, Johnny as his friends acted like normal college students on drinking-holidays, staying up all night drinking (he assumed from his previous experience), sleeping away the whole forenoon, only getting on the slopes in the late afternoon, where Sicheng and his family would’ve (thankfully) stopped skiing for the day. (Actually, it was Sicheng that insisted that they should go skiing earlier in the forenoon, just so he wouldn’t risk running into Johnny.) In the evenings, Sicheng would insist that they’d go out eating somewhere in the small town rather than at the Hotel’s own restaurant. 

“So we can see the town and not just the hotel and the slopes,” he’d explain.

And this avoiding-Johnny-at-all-costs actually seemed to work until the third day after the whole _incident_. Sicheng and his family had just entered the hotel after a nice dinner at one of the smaller restaurants in the centrum of the town, when somebody called Sicheng’s name and he froze completely.

“Sicheng!” he knew that voice. All too well.

Before he could decide whether or not to react to Johnny’s calling, his family members had already turned around at the sound, leaving Sicheng with no choice but to face the inevitable.

Johnny was jogging towards them from the bar, a slight frown on his forehead until he saw Sicheng’s family members. He then put on one of his nicest smiles, one that, according to Sicheng, literally screamed I-am-fucking-your-son-please-accept-me-into-the-family and Sicheng couldn’t help but grind his teeth in annoyance. Of course they’d accept Johnny if that’s what he wanted; there was literally no man on earth more gentlemanly or polite than Johnny, which was exactly what his mother would value in a future son-in-law.

“Sicheng, who’s this?” his mother asked, not even glancing at her own son; all her attention was on the handsome man in front of her and Sicheng wanted to poke his eyes out with a fork at the way she was looking at the man as if she could already hear the fucking wedding bells.

Sicheng opened his mouth to reply but Johnny beat him to it, already introducing himself to his family. “My name is Seo Johnny, or Seo Youngho in Korean, and I’m one of Sicheng’s… _friends_.”

When he spoke the word “friends”, Johnny tore his gaze away from Sicheng’s mother to look Sicheng straight in the eyes, his gaze filled with something the younger couldn’t quite figure out. Perhaps one of the reasons why he was so unfocused on the glint in the elder’s eyes, the same brown eyes he’d been swimming in all night when they were in the bar, was because he kept silently praying that Johnny _wouldn’t say something that’d go against his own explanation, please just shut up, Johnny, please!_

“Oh, so you’re one of the people who took care of our Xiao Sicheng?” his mother walked forward, taking Johnny’s hands into her own while gently patting the knuckles. “Thank you for take care of son and make sure no happen to him. You are very good older brother to Sicheng,” his mother thanked him in broken Korean and Sicheng’s heart literally melted when Johnny sent her a charming smile before bowing ninety degrees before her.

Sicheng rubbed his chest with a scowl, hating the way he wasn’t in control of his own emotions.

Damn you, Johnny!

“Thank you for letting him hang with us,” Johnny sounded just as thankful as his mother and Sicheng felt like he was going to throw up.

Thank you for letting him hang with us? Thank you for letting him hang with us so I could fuck your son in the ass and then pretend I took care of him like a normal hyung would take care of his dongsaeng, act as if it was nothing?

His mother and Johnny talked for quite some time with Sicheng standing awkwardly next to them, his father and sister long gone.

“That’s good idea!” his mother suddenly clapped her hands before turning around to face Sicheng. “Come on, baby, what good idea!”

Sicheng looked at her with a dumbfounded look on his face, not knowing what the two were now talking about as they lost him a long time ago. “What?”

“Johnny here just asked if you’d want to join him for a beer or a soda,” his mother explained eagerly in Chinese while sending him a look that kind of said he didn’t have a choice. “He’ll also help you with your applications for colleges in Korea, isn’t that great, Sicheng? How could you possibly say no to that?”

Sicheng stared down at the floor, not saying anything.

“Remember to thank him,” his mother whispered in his ears before gently pushing him towards Johnny, leaving Sicheng with no choice but to follow Johnny to the bar. With each step Sicheng took, he could feel the blood in his veins pump faster and faster and his palms became sweatier and sweatier. This was a situation he’d never wish for his worst enemy to experience; the humiliation he was feeling right there was truly horrible and he wanted to crawl down into a hole.

Johnny brought him to the same table that they’d occupied the night from three days ago. But this time, none of Johnny’s friends were sitting there, instead, as Sicheng noticed when he looked around in the bar, they were situated around the pool table, watching an on-going match, now and then glancing in Johnny and Sicheng’s direction, which didn’t help calm down Sicheng’s nerves at all.

They fucking knew.

When Johnny sat down, now with a bottle of Cola in front of him with no beer on the table, Sicheng carefully made sure to sit down on the bench across, not wanting to be as close to Johnny as before.

Sicheng immediately lowered his gaze, staring at the surface of the table as if it was the most interesting thing he’d seen all day; all while avoiding Johnny’s intense stare that he could feel burning on his face.

“Should we just pretend _that_ didn’t happen or what?” Johnny asked, voice a bit harsh and even aggressive, making Sicheng flinch at the hard tone.

“Sicheng,” Johnny began as he let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back in his seat, causing Sicheng to look at the other male out of the corner of his eye. When he finally looked at the older man properly, he was staring penetratingly at Sicheng with a frown sprawled across his brow and Sicheng could literally feel the stream of thoughts that was rushing through Johnny’s mind. “Tell me what I did wrong.”

Sicheng bit his lower lip and tore his gaze away from Johnny once again, not answering the older and even though he didn’t want to let him hanging like that with no explanation at all, it was as if his throat had been stuffed with cement, making it impossible for him to form any words.

“We can stay friends or just pretend it didn’t happen and go back to just being strangers if that’s what you want,” Johnny muttered quietly, still getting no response from Sicheng.

“Do you feel like I took advantage of you, is that it?” Johnny whispered, voice strained with discomfort as if he wished that Sicheng would say no. The guilt flared up inside Sicheng, causing him to shut his eyes tightly before franticly shaking his head.

He could hear the older male let out a sigh of relief before he continued interrogating Sicheng. “Then please tell me what I did wrong, why you’re acting like you don’t know me, like we’ve never met.”

Sicheng opened his eyes again, staring at the neon green exit sign above the double doors that could lead him to his freedom, away from this awful situation.

“When I woke up and you weren’t there,” Johnny continued after a small break, voice lowered so it was only possible for Sicheng to hear his words. “I fully understand why you left. You’re here with your family and I was certain that they were worried about you. But… you left no trail, no phone number, no way for me to contact you again. And it seems like you’ve been ignoring me ever since.”

Sicheng hid his face behind his palms.

“And each time Ten, Jaehyun, Taeyong, Taeil, or whoever, would come to me and say they’d seen you up on the slopes, I would convince myself that it was just a coincidence that _we’d_ never run into each other. But then it started to happen a bit too much, and I finally realised that it probably wasn’t pure coincidence, that you’re actually avoiding me.”

“Sicheng, I,” Johnny stopped, furrowing his brows, and stared at Sicheng’s T-Shirt, looking as if he was in deep thought. “I never intended to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to. I’d never do that. But that night… If you felt used, I sincerely apologise from the bottom of my heart. Even the thought of possibly having taken advantage of you is really…”

Johnny interrupted himself as he placed his hand on his mouth, staring at Sicheng with desperate, glossy eyes, looking as if he’d taken the whole world’s burdens on his shoulders. “It’s fucking disgusting. I’m… I’m so disgusted with myself. I don’t want you to hate me… that’s the last thing I wanted when I started speaking with you.”

Sicheng stared at the scene in front of him in horror, silently observing how Johnny was slowly but surely breaking down in front of him.

He didn’t know what to say. Johnny had tried to contact him as he’d expected, but for Johnny to contact him because he was scared that Sicheng detested him… that was not what he wanted at all.

“I didn’t…” Sicheng cleared his throat quietly, trying to ignore the way both his voice, hands, whole body, was shaking like a leaf. “It’s just that – I-I’m not that type of guy…”

“What type of guy?” Johnny frowned, desperately wishing that Sicheng would just look at him.

“You know… The type of guy that just – just sleeps around with every handsome guy he comes across,” Sicheng whispered, lowering his head in both embarrassment and shame; embarrassment for admitting that he thought Johnny was handsome (which was the understatement of the year, okay), shame for admitting to himself that he’d turned out to actually _be_ that type of person he didn’t want to be.

Sicheng inhaled sharply before letting out a shaky breath. “I’ve always wanted only keep the – the sex thing in a relationship but now I’m… that’s not… It’s not what I did and I don’t want you see me as easy target for one-night stand even though that’s probably – no, not probably, _definitely_ – what my actions showing.”

Johnny was staring at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape, and Sicheng wanted nothing more but to sink into the floor with Johnny’s penetrating stare on him.

“It was never… if I’d known it would end like this, I’d never taken you to bed like that,” Johnny shook his head, looking as if he was talking more to himself than to Sicheng. “Despite how incredible and beautiful making love with you was like, I’d _never_ pick it over being with you like this… And by this I mean talking with you, getting to know you. You think I…”

Johnny shook his head disappointingly, looking at Sicheng with deep sadness. “I’ll never see you as “that” type of guy and even if one could argue that I myself might fall into that category for my previous actions,” Sicheng tried to ignore the sticking pain in his chest, “I’d _never_ see you as a simple one-night stand, Sicheng. _Never_.”

Now it was Sicheng who was under some serious pressure as tears were on the edge of falling from his eyes at Johnny’s confession.

“You’re so much more than that, Sicheng,” Johnny whispered. “I don’t want you to feel like I’ve used you or to even feel ashamed of yourself. Of course, if you feel like I pressured you into having sex with me I’ll never forgive myself, but if that’s not the case then… what I’m trying to say is…”

Johnny ran a hand through his brown locks frustratingly, the right words nowhere to be found in his mind.

“I – Sicheng, it’s just that… _Fuck_ , I like you, okay?” Johnny finally confessed, tiredly rubbing his eyes with his fingertips. “I like you a lot, okay? And I want you to know that I never viewed you as a one-night stand when I took you to bed that time. I saw you as a lover, a _partner_.”

Sicheng couldn’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks or his nose for slightly running, but honestly it didn’t matter at that point. All that mattered was Johnny, Johnny, _Johnny_.

“I – I used you, Sicheng. And you barely know me, fuck, looking at it now with even just the slightest rationality, I can see how crazily I behaved, how fucked up I am for desperately wanting someone I’ve known for only a few days. I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart and I fully understand if you can’t forgive me.”

“I-I like you too,” Sicheng confessed quietly, his face completely tomato-red by now, and he couldn’t possibly ignore the way his heart was blooming with joy, excitement, and delight.

After all, why would Johnny lie? Both of them were going home soon so for Johnny to pour his heart out like this, just because he wanted to sleep with Sicheng again perhaps (which the elder probably already knew by now wouldn’t happen for a while), wouldn’t make any sense if he didn’t care about Sicheng at all.

Johnny’s eyes lit up and a heart-warming yet relieved smile spread across his face, making Sicheng weak in his knees and the urge to throw himself forward and kiss Johnny’s squishy cheeks was almost unbearable. 

“Don’t feel pressured to say yes, okay? But what do you say, we forget the whole sex-part and just go back to getting to know each other and we’ll see where it goes. No pressure. And if this,” Johnny waved his hands between the two of them, “gets serious and you decide to stay in China and study, I am absolutely certain we’ll figure something out.”

Sicheng couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face nor could he ignore the way the butterflies in his stomach. “That sounds lovely.” He softly grinned, cheeks rosy and heart beating crazily in his chest. “I’d love that.”  

* * *

Two days after their "agreement", Sicheng left Korea with his family and travelled back to China. They’d exchanged phone numbers and texted each other regularly on different social platforms. Johnny had even enforced a new rule, which meant that between 8 and 9 PM every Sunday, they’d facetime each other over Skype. (Unless one of them was busy, then they’d move the arrangement to Saturday evening; Johnny was very devoted to this agreement and Sicheng couldn’t help but laugh each time Johnny would whine about ‘the 60 minutes haven’t passed yet, you can’t go already!’ whenever Sicheng had to cut their call even just 6 minutes shorter).

One thing was for sure; no matter what would happen in the future, Sicheng had never felt as happy as he did right then.

**Author's Note:**

> im proud you made it through lol
> 
> you can follow me on tumblr if you want to at @taebaebts woo!!!


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